Anticipation

i dont like this feeling.
i dont like this feeling and the way its making me feel.
i dont like this feeling and the way its making me feel towards distress.

i feel like a creep,
a useless creep,
i want to feel special,
but i dont belong anywhere near them.

i want this pressure to stop pressuring me.
i want this feeling to stop making me feel this way.

i know im not what you wanted me to be.
but blame yourself,
you made me this way.
i could change myself,
but its hard.

i know im not the best,
im trying.
im trying to make you proud of me.
im trying to make other people proud of me,
not because of you,
not because of your name,
not because of your title,
or your post.

what the hell am i doing.

i cant lie to myself.
i dont like it at all.
im just trying to satisfy you.
but i just want to be me

yes it happened

4 months,exactly 4 months ;)

well minus the break up, its been 3 years,exactly 3 years.

i love you ajmal. thanks for being there for me. ;)

Could I Care Less

and so the story goes. BLA BLA BLA. the hell? do i look like i care? excuse me little muffins, i've got a better life now,so thanks for moving ;)

i've got better things to do, than go all gugu gaga over you

and please dont interfere little one,u dont know what i have to go through, so dont act like u know everything abt me,u dont.

betrayed,lied to,ripped of, and backstabbed. showed me what life is. Thanks God for showing me the real her. ALHAMDULILLAH. ;)

and yes to you it might not be your fault. but the coin has two different sides my dear. never the same. nothing i said was never good enough, and everything u did was any better. ;)

The Reality Of The Situation

As i was strolling through my myspace, i came across a bulletin posted by a friend. I was caught by the title Indonesians, Perhaps? As i was reading along, this popped up, http://www.myspace.com/pasukanantimalingsia.



Now, from my point of view as a Malaysian, this is heartbreaking. The Indonesians come to our country,wether legally or illegally, to look for a descent job.



And what really confuses me is that these people are pissed off basically because Malaysians call them "INDON". They come to our country, causing havocs and chaos, and yet the government still alows them to stay here. I dont know if Malaysians have caused as much havoc over there as much as they have over here,but rasionally, is this what Malaysia gets for giving your people job vacancies and such.

Now to the reality of the situation, what if, Malaysia rejects Indonesians to stay here. Would they be living a high life as they are now? I thought that Malaysia and Indonesia were working together. I guess i thought wrong.

Even by the posts on their myspace, discriminating the one and only country i love, doenst mean i am Anti-Indonesia. I do not step on your flag. I do no burn it either. I do not make a myspace account on how we should be Anti-Indo. As adults, mature adults, cant this be settled in a proper manner? cant this be solved in a humane way.

Im only 15, and eventhough i do not know properly how to, at least the adults should. I dont have enough authority or rights to go againts your country. I do not humiliate you nor do I despise of you. But you have caused riots.

I am sorry if anyone is hurt by the posting of this blog, i just feel that some of the adults should act wisely and more mature, in a proper manner. Not by naming names, and vulgar words.

Thank You,
A Malaysian


ONE MALAYSIA

I've Got A Girl Guide Spirit.

Another perfect day spent with the sunshines of my life. ;) Thanks to them i feel fine already. hehehe. i love you guys.

<3atirah,atilia,azdi,ellisya,nad,amira,fathin

Friendship Means Forever

forever,eventhough if its just a while ;)
fathin,nad.
Ellisya,Azdi,Atirah,Atilia.

I never thought I'd find a friendship like this. They're my sun in the daylight, and my stars in the night's sky. No words can express how happy i am when they're around. Without them there to help me, God knows where or how i'd be right now.

People say friendship forever is never perfectly defined. But what i think, friendship forever is the perfect definition of life.I know that i can be the best with them around to support. And i know that i'll ALWAYS be with them, no matter where i am. And even one day if im gone, i'll still be there for them.

When the rain starts blowing in your hair,
And im not there beside you,
ignore the wind thats trying to tell,
tell you that i'll be leaving.

Without you realizing,
A few months left to spend,
Those few months I will cherish,
Till the end.

One day when i'm gone,
promise me to stop loving me,
for I am not worthy.
These words will continue to stay on my lips,
I Love You Guys,
Thanks for it.

Sayang-sayang sama Atirah, Azdiyanah, Atilia, Fathin Addina, Nadhirah, Amira, Ellisya ;)

Now I Understand

Special For The One I Love, Amin Ajmal. :)

Your just like a star in the sky,
Your like a drug to my pain,
Your like a song in my heart,
Your like the strings on my guitar.

I love the way you laugh on a joke,
I love the way u smile to for me to see,
I love the way you push your glasses,
I love the way you try to please me.

Let me hold you for one time,
Let me touch you before i die,
Let me look into your eyes,
Let me listen to your broken voice.

The sun sets again,
And your name is calling,
Come and shed some light on my darkest nights,
I love you and I trust you.

I've never felt more in love with any other man but you, no words can express how deep it is. I feel secure when im around you, and i feel closer everytime i see you. I love you Amin, i really do. :)