When one wants to move on, but keeps running back, what is he to do?
He wants to forget her. But he cant. He wants to hold her again. He's like a puppet. Following everyone else. He wants to love her, but the others, the others just despise the thought. He wants to touch her skin again. His friends say forget her, he wants to but he cant. He knows she's no good for him, but he knows he's the best. Everything she's asked him to do, he's done. He once wanted to give up on life, but he used her as a stepping stone, not that he meant to, but he had to.She was his savior. She was his life. His world revolved around her.
Others were waiting for him, others claimed they loved him more than anyone else. But it was he, he was too much in love with her to go to someone else. He was too much into her to even look at anyone else. He remembered the time she laid on his lap, oh how he wanted more. In his mind all he could think of was the smooth touch of her skin. Her hair, and her eyes. He couldn't forget her smile. That sweet smile. The smile that made him fall for her. Every single time he saw her he felt like shouting his hearts out and telling her how much he loves her.
But God forbid, he knew it would never happen. He shouldnt have put his hopes up too high. He only has a few months more to live. He wants to let go of his life. He wants to lay rest asleep. He wants her to be happy with someone else, he knew they would never be together. Everytime she touched his hand, his heart would start beating faster. It couldnt stop running. Faster, faster, faster. Blood started pumping to his heart. Faster, faster, faster. He would slowly calm down.
He always had his poker face on. In front of everybody, including her. Whenever he felt hurt by her, she would never want her to know. She was too fragile.
And everytime she sleeps alone, he would always,always want to acompany her. Be by her side. And hope to die,die right there beside her. Feeling her heartbeat, as his slowly, starts to stop....
20 December 2008
When She Sleeps Alone
dengan hati yang pasrah, eza whenever around 3:48 PM
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