when will they day that someone appreciates me come?

aku sangat tertekan pada saat ini.

boleke ni? aku rasa mcm takbole ja. fine2. im not gonna put my hopes too high for best performer. sbb memang2 confirm im not getting it kan. so, whats the use of me hoping for something i know im not gonna get. tapi at least, at least some praises. selama ini, aku denga ja org puji dia. aku? bila aku nk dipuji? bukan nya aku nk mintak, tp aku rasa cam tak dihargai tau. maybe its just myself, but, i dono, im just too pressured. i dont know why i feel so guilty.i dont know why im feeling guilty. was it my fault shes like this? tapi aku terlalu MANJA? WADAFAK?!! aku yg manja? weyh. tolongla. kau yg tak bole terima kritikan kan? aku pulak yg kena. ISH. i feel like i dont have a part in drama anymore. the limelights on her. and her alone. suma orang pon cakap camtu. kalau camtu, why dint i just kill myself yesterday? kenapa aku stop setengah jalan? sebab im not selfish. i think of others. and aku taknak la sebab aku ja, vasanthi rasa bebanan. aiyo. i feel guilty la babi!! i feel like im so useless. and worthless. heartless too. and oh so unappreciated.




bila aku nk sedar yang aku ni sangatlah berharga pada drama ini. aku masih tertanya2. adakah aku diperlukan?